For hours, the woman beside me complained about my weight, my eating, and even my breathing. When I finally changed seats, I left her a little surprise that soon had the entire cabin wide awake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At 61, I’d learned two important things: life is too short to worry about other people’s opinions, and you’re never too old for a good prank.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was flying overnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve lived with type 2 diabetes for years, and yes, I’m overweight. I’ve made peace with my body, although I’d be lying if I said the occasional nasty remark didn’t sting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That October, I was flying overnight to visit my daughter and two grandchildren for Halloween.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My granddaughter, eight, wanted to be a witch, while her ten-year-old brother had requested a vampire costume.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d spent weeks sewing both outfits, adding enough dramatic details to make a Hollywood costume designer jealous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve made peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My suitcase was also stuffed with candy and decorations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And inside my carry-on, wrapped carefully in a blanket, was a very special surprise for my grandson, who adored scary movies and Halloween pranks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My daughter always said, “Mom, sometimes I think I’ve got three children instead of two.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I boarded the plane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I considered that a compliment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I boarded the plane in excellent spirits and settled into my usual aisle seat. It made getting up easier, and I preferred having a little freedom to move without disturbing anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unfortunately, the woman sitting by the window seemed determined to ruin my good mood before we’d even taken off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smiled politely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My seatmate looked about 40. She was skinny, impeccably dressed, and wore an expensive watch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her perfume was so strong I wondered whether she’d spilled the entire bottle on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The moment I sat down, she looked me up and down, then sighed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smiled politely. She didn’t smile back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Wonderful.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before we’d even taken off, a baby started fussing a few rows behind us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Wonderful. Six hours of listening to somebody else’s child.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then a man across the aisle opened a bag of chips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Does nobody understand basic manners anymore?” she muttered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“The battery’s dead!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Finally, she put on a pair of expensive-looking headphones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought we might have some peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unfortunately, five minutes later, she ripped them off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You’ve got to be kidding me! The battery’s dead!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Maybe the flight attendant could help you charge them?” I suggested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She tapped my arm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I don’t need your advice.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I returned to my magazine. A minute later, she tapped my arm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Could you stop making that noise?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“What noise?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That awful breathing. It’s like sitting next to a broken vacuum cleaner.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She glared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I blinked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Well, I could try holding my breath, but I don’t think I’d make it to landing.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She glared at me. Apparently, humor wasn’t among her interests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trying to lighten the mood, I mentioned that I was visiting my grandchildren for Halloween.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She grimaced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I hate Halloween.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ugh. I hate Halloween. Those disgusting decorations, creepy dolls, horrible masks. I can’t even watch horror movies without having nightmares.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“My grandson loves all that stuff.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I don’t understand why people enjoy frightening each other. It’s sick.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pictured my grandson hearing that. He’d probably start planning a dozen pranks before she finished speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I simply smiled and returned to my magazine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had no intention of frightening anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At least, not yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
About twenty minutes into the flight, I took a snack bar from my purse. I needed to keep my blood sugar stable, and my doctor had specifically advised me not to skip snacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I need it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My neighbor immediately noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You’re eating that?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I need it,” I replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Of course. Have you ever thought that maybe you should eat less? You’re already taking up part of my seat!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Excuse me? I’m sitting in my own seat. I’m not taking up yours.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Your huge leg is spilling into my seat.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I glanced down. Both my legs were firmly within my seat, but I pressed them together anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ten minutes later, she announced that she needed the bathroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My cheeks burned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I unbuckled my seat belt and stood to let her pass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Why does it take you so long to get up?” she snapped. “People should know their size and think about the other passengers around them.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My cheeks burned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Normally, I would’ve had a comeback ready. But after so many insults, I couldn’t find a single word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When she returned, she stopped a passing flight attendant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Are you blind?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Excuse me! Aren’t people like her supposed to buy two tickets? I’m practically being crushed!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant examined our seats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ma’am, she’s sitting entirely within her own space.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Are you blind? Look at her!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I opened my mouth, but the attendant gently interrupted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hesitated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“There’s another available seat farther back. Would you prefer to move?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hesitated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d paid for this aisle seat, and I hated rewarding such awful behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But five more hours beside this woman sounded unbearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“All right,” I sighed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn’t embarrassed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My neighbor smiled triumphantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I reached for my carry-on and remembered my grandson’s special Halloween present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suddenly, I wasn’t embarrassed anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In fact, I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling. An absolutely wicked idea had just occurred to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I opened my carry-on and carefully unwrapped my grandson’s present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Absolutely hideous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a doll about the size of a small child, with a cracked, porcelain-looking face, tangled black hair, and a crooked smile that revealed two rows of yellowish teeth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Its tiny hands had unnaturally long fingers, and its Victorian dress looked as though someone had dragged it through a cemetery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Absolutely hideous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My grandson was going to adore it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a doll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The doll had come with a remote control, which I discreetly slipped into my cardigan pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I settled my new friend into my old seat and tucked my travel blanket around her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only a few strands of black hair stuck out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My neighbor barely noticed. She was too busy scrolling through her phone, probably celebrating her victory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I collected my belongings and walked toward my new seat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d barely sat down when a shriek echoed through the cabin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“WHAT IS THAT?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman had pulled away the blanket and was staring directly into the doll’s horrible face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I leaned forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“AAAAAH!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Several passengers turned around. I leaned forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Oh, you found my grandson’s present!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“YOUR WHAT?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“It’s a Halloween gift,” I explained cheerfully. “My grandson loves scary things. Isn’t she precious?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“PRECIOUS?! THAT THING LOOKS POSSESSED!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Isn’t she precious?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pressed a hand to my chest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say about a lady.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Someone across the aisle snorted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“GET IT AWAY FROM ME!” the woman screamed, waving for the flight attendant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant hurried over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Is this yours?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“What’s the problem, ma’am?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“THAT!” The woman pointed at the doll. “I want that disgusting thing removed immediately!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant looked at the doll, then at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Is this yours?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Yes, and I’m happy to secure her properly.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I returned briefly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant explained that the toy itself wasn’t prohibited, provided it was safely secured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With her permission, I returned briefly to buckle the doll into the seat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I can’t sit next to that horrible thing!” my neighbor protested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ma’am,” the attendant replied patiently, “you requested that your previous seatmate move. She accommodated you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My neighbor protested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Don’t worry. She’s much smaller than I am. You should have plenty of room now.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Several passengers burst out laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman’s face turned scarlet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I returned to my new seat, feeling rather pleased with myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I took the remote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then my fingers brushed against the remote in my pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I remembered that my grandson’s new friend had a few more tricks up her sleeve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back in my new seat, I took the remote from my cardigan pocket and examined it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There were three little buttons, each marked with a different symbol. I remembered the shop assistant demonstrating them when I’d bought the doll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pressed the first one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Khhhhhh\u2026 hhhhhh\u2026 khhhhh\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman froze. Slowly, she turned toward the doll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Its crooked smile hadn’t changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Hhhhh\u2026 khhhh\u2026 haaaaa\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“What was that?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant approached.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I quickly switched off the sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman waved frantically at the flight attendant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That thing is breathing!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant approached and glanced at the motionless doll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ma’am, it’s a toy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“What was that?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I know it’s a toy! But it’s making noises!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant leaned closer and listened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Perhaps you heard something from another passenger. Please try to keep your voice down. People are resting.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As soon as she walked away, I waited another minute and pressed the button again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Khhhhhh\u2026 hhhhh\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Stop it!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman grabbed both armrests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A man across the aisle lowered his book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I released the button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Excuse me, are you talking to the doll?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“It’s making sounds!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He tilted his head to listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I released the button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Well,” he said, “right now, you’re making considerably more noise than it is.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She twisted around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman shot him a murderous glare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I quickly raised my magazine to hide my grin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suddenly, she twisted around and spotted me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You! You’re doing this!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I lowered my magazine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Me? I’m sitting all the way back here.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I lowered my magazine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You left that horrible thing beside me on purpose!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Well, you did say you were uncomfortable sitting next to me.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That doesn’t mean I want to sit next to a monster!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I gave her my sweetest grandmotherly smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I thought you wanted a smaller seatmate. I even found you one who doesn’t need snacks.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You were uncomfortable.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The man across the aisle burst out laughing. The woman looked ready to explode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I hadn’t even touched the other two buttons yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eventually, the commotion died down, and the flight attendant made an announcement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ladies and gentlemen, as this is an overnight flight, we’ll be dimming the cabin lights shortly. Please lower your window shades so everyone can get some rest.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The commotion died down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My former seatmate reluctantly pulled down her shade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The lights dimmed, and one by one, passengers switched off their reading lamps. Blankets came out, seats reclined, and the cabin finally grew quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even my charming former neighbor stopped complaining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From my new seat, I could just make out the doll sitting beside her, perfectly motionless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d tested it at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I remembered the second button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d tested it at home before packing the doll. Pressing it made those horrible little eyes glow bright red, as though something evil had awakened inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My grandson was going to go absolutely wild over that feature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I touched the remote in my pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps I’d had enough fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pressed the button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I remembered being told that even my breathing was unbearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pressed the button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two blood-red eyes suddenly lit up in the darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman turned her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For two glorious seconds, she didn’t make a sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman turned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then she unleashed a scream so loud I thought the pilot might hear it through the cockpit door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“It’s looking at me!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The entire cabin erupted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A sleeping passenger jolted upright, knocking his pillow onto the floor. Someone dropped their phone, while another man struggled to untangle himself from his blanket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Its eyes!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“What’s happening? Are we landing?!” someone shouted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, my former seatmate had pressed herself against the window, pointing a trembling finger at the doll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Its eyes! They were red! I saw them!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Naturally, I’d already released the button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The flight attendant hurried over and switched on the overhead lights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Bright red!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There sat my grandson’s doll, looking as innocent as a creature with cracked skin and rotten-looking teeth possibly could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ma’am, what’s going on now?” the attendant asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That thing’s eyes were glowing! Bright red! Like something from a horror movie!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant leaned closer to inspect it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Several passengers laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The doll didn’t move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m not seeing anything unusual.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Because it stopped! I’m telling you, it was looking directly at me!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From somewhere across the aisle, a man muttered, “Maybe it doesn’t like your perfume.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Several passengers laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked up innocently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I nearly hurt myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the woman suddenly twisted around and pointed straight at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“She’s controlling it! I know she is!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked up innocently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I raised my eyebrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Controlling what?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“The doll! She’s making it do things!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I raised my eyebrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’ve been sitting here quietly. Isn’t that what you wanted?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Get that thing out of here!” she demanded, turning back to the attendant. “I’m not spending another minute beside it!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Controlling what?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant looked toward me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ma’am, if your doll has electronic features, could you please make sure they’re switched off? We need to let everyone rest.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Of course,” I replied sweetly. “Wouldn’t dream of disturbing anyone.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman gave an outraged gasp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant looked toward me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tucked the remote deeper into my pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But judging by the way she was glaring at the doll, my former neighbor wasn’t ready to let the matter go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I want that doll confiscated!” the woman demanded. “Put it somewhere I can’t see it!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The flight attendant remained remarkably patient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That’s ridiculous!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ma’am, we can’t confiscate a permitted toy simply because you dislike its appearance. Its electronic features will remain switched off.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That’s ridiculous! She’s been tormenting me!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant folded her hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ma’am, this passenger gave up her seat because you said you were uncomfortable. Since then, we’ve received several complaints about your shouting.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That lady hasn’t bothered anyone.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman stared at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“So you’re taking her side?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m trying to make sure everyone can enjoy the rest of their flight.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A man sitting behind her leaned forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“That lady hasn’t bothered anyone since she moved. You’re the one waking everybody up.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman stared at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another passenger chuckled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“At least the doll isn’t complaining about how much space it needs!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Laughter rippled through the surrounding rows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman looked around, apparently expecting someone to defend her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Then I’m moving!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nobody did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Fine!” she snapped. “Then I’m moving!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The attendant checked for another available seat and directed her farther down the cabin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My former neighbor snatched up her handbag and phone, muttering something about being trapped on an airplane full of lunatics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You’re a horrible woman.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As she passed my row, she stopped and leaned toward me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You’re a horrible woman,” she hissed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I gave her my warmest grandmotherly smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“And you have a wonderful Halloween.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She marched away without another word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She passed my row.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I watched her disappear behind the curtain separating the cabin sections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I looked toward my old seat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My little porcelain-faced friend was still sitting there, smiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For once, I couldn’t have agreed with her expression more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once the woman was gone, I caught the flight attendant’s attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Of course, ma’am.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Would it be possible for me to return to my original seat?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Of course, ma’am. Just please keep the doll’s electronic features switched off and put it away.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Absolutely. She’s caused enough excitement for one night.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I retrieved my little monster, tucked her safely into my carry-on, and settled back into my aisle seat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I grinned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For the first time since boarding, I could actually relax.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few minutes later, the attendant brought me some water. She glanced at the tangled black hair sticking out of my bag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Your grandson must have quite a sense of humor.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I grinned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Oh, he gets that from me.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She laughed and continued down the aisle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I leaned back, imagining my grandchildren’s faces when they saw their costumes and presents. I could practically feel their little arms wrapping around me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I patted my carry-on affectionately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d bought that doll to give my grandson the scare of his life. Turns out, it had already given me the best flight of mine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For hours, the woman beside me complained about my weight, my eating, and even my breathing. When I finally changed seats, I left her a little surprise… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":173,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7771"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7771\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7772,"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7771\/revisions\/7772"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bzerbros.fun\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}