When I agreed to babysit my neighbor\u2019s daughter, I expected laughter and crayons, not a question that would shatter my world. She looked at me with wide eyes and asked, \u201cWhy are you wearing my mommy\u2019s necklace?\u201d and in that moment, nothing in my life made sense anymore.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s no greater happiness in life than being a mother, at least that\u2019s what I\u2019d always believed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
And when I finally got pregnant, that belief became even stronger. My Ethan and I had agreed to start trying a year into our marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We both waited for those two little lines on the test like kids waiting for Christmas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When they finally appeared one quiet morning, I screamed so loud I woke Ethan by jumping on the bed, waving the test in front of his sleepy face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Motherhood felt like my purpose. I spent hours imagining what our baby would look like, how it would feel to hold them for the first time, what kind of parents we\u2019d be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One morning, when I was seven months along, I stepped out into the garden with a cup of herbal tea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I heard laughter and a woman\u2019s voice coming from the other side of the fence. My neighbor, Hannah, was chasing her four-year-old daughter across the yard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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